The Relationship Benefits of Date Night

There are so many benefits to date night. It is imperative in a relationship with kids. I look forward to Saturday night and I won’t lie, it’s on a countdown some weeks. We have some rules about date night. No discussing our relationship and no discussing the kids. This is both a relief and a challenge, but date night is about us tapping into each other, focusing on each other, feeling special and important, and getting away from the issues that cause stress. It’s not only about staying in love but also about remembering that we do love each other and, hopefully, loving each other even more. The challenge of not discussing our relationship or the kids is that those are two things that consume a lot of our life.

We’re finally alone and able to sit and vent without interruption about all the crap that’s nagging us. I want to be listened to when something is bothering me and here I have this man all to myself uninterrupted. We have the rule because we needed it. Because our date nights became more about venting and fixing and less about fun and I was very guilty in this.

Date “night” was during the day and it was a blast! What things are changing? What’s coming up? Thoughts on the holidays? Goals, dreams, and aspirations. Menu planning ideas. Video’s that one of us watched that we want to show the other. Everything funny we can think of. Remember those first dates? What will we do when the kids are moving out? Jobs sometimes change, the budget needs to be tweaked, a vehicle needs work done (a stereo system DOES count as work that needs to be done, by the way), races coming up or have just past, a different gym membership, what’s up with the basketball team, did you see this beat bop challenge on YouTube? Where can we go so I can get some slippers? We should start looking at tents for the summer…….

The craving for information about this person you felt when you met shouldn’t end. There’s always more to learn, memories to share and date night is all about tapping into keeping the romance alive. There’s more though. So much more. The sneaky moments we steal during the week. It’s not really stealing if we tell the kids what we’re doing, though, right? Grocery shopping walks, cleaning the garage or cars, fixing stuff, refinishing something, watching a show together. These are all ways we try to spend time together in snippets during the week to get us through the time between date nights. There are benefits to these moments that are different from dates.

• We can talk about our relationship and kids. It’s game on with that.
• We’re available to the kids — they can come to chat with us while we’re spending time together and they do.
• We have a good system of teamwork because we menu plan together and shop together. Plus taking kids to the grocery store takes much longer, they want everything and it feels like shopping ADD. So we go it alone. Sometimes we wander. Because we can.
• We are an example of a healthy relationship. We laugh, we joke, we hang out together, we engage
• The environment is different. Its not date night, looking sharp and best behavior (although I have to say we’re often more like dorky teenagers on dates). Sneaking is being together while being present to everyone else.

Recently during dinner when we did our “conversation starters” questions, Abby asked, “Who is your best friend?” When it was Dad’s turn they were all guessing who his best friend was. “Those are all good friends, but my best friend is Mom”. Sneak away more often with your best friend. Sometimes we forget who it really is.

Originally published at https://www.momof18.com.