The Give and Take in Relationships
Anyone who said relationships are easy was either delusional or not in a relationship. Great relationships take a lot of give and take, compromise, communication, and work. When things are easy and the sailing is smooth, it’s fun to have a partner in crime. Rainbows and unicorns and pot of gold, skipping, euphoric kind of great. Those times should be cherished because the seasons of change happen to all of us and weathering the storms together is a lot more difficult.
Once you’ve been through some time and chaos together, you have an idea of how your partner will react. So when I lost my job, I knew I’d have support. I cut my hair — not only did I have support, it was Dane’s idea (prior to losing the job, but my appointment was after). I went on unemployment which is half of what I was making but it’s reassuring to have money coming in while I’m staring down “what now”. Cutbacks and job loss a week prior to Thanksgiving was hard, losing a job where you work with your friends is really tough.
Through it all, he’s been a rock. Encouraging me to take a breather, telling me how great it is I have time to work on the book I’ve been trying to write, giving me blog ideas. Going back into stay at home Mom mode was a breeze even after over a decade working. The house is definitely cleaner and I’ve gone through closets and kitchen cabinets like a crazy lady. I’m signed up to volunteer in the Kindergarten room and dinners are more thoughtfully planned out. Laundry is done faster, pants have been repaired (and the jewelry that’s been sitting there waiting). Planning the menu is more fun and flexible with more time and now I’m trying to get into the habit of cooking more and packing containers for Dane and me to use for lunches. It isn’t much, but it’s small things that hopefully make a difference during this change.
I’m still searching regularly, sending out my resume, and negotiating through the holidays and the job postings. Financially Dane is picking up the slack which both makes me proud and bruises my pride. We’ve taken the opportunity to tighten up our finances to weather the storm and we realized that even though life throws unexpected curveballs, we can manage them just fine.
Originally published at https://www.momof18.com.
Jenn is Mom of 18, Transformational Coach for Christian women, host of At A Crossroads with The Naked Podcaster, Author, Runner, Minimalist, & Healthy Lifestyle Advocate
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