Helping Kids with Self-Esteem
A health magazine showed up in my mailbox recently. I’m not sure how or why it got there — I don’t have a subscription — but since it was there, I read it. Generally information is so readily available on the web, I’m not as interested in magazines. Too bad — in some ways. I enjoyed getting my coffee when the house was quiet and curling up with it.
Not too long ago, my kids and I watched THIS VIDEO about photo-shopping. I want them to know that what we see in media and magazines is unrealistic and that they should embrace their bodies. It’s also a way to help them with their own self-esteem.
I’m 5'9" tall and wishing I was 5'3" tall is a colossal waste of my energy. I want them all to figure out their body type and embrace it. (Take two minutes and watch the video).
So now I sit reading this magazine about health and fitness that I know is airbrushed in an unrealistic manner. Every other page is an advertisement for medication. From dry eyes to Hepatitis C to everything you can imagine — there is a huge push to take a magic pill. It’s overwhelming the number of medication ads there are. Most of the articles are about “how to fix your pesky problems”, “how to make better choices”, “get social, lose weight”, how to buy leggings like the “stars” wear, what you NEED to buy to be successful and “blast your fat”. LOOK YOUNGER! LOSE WEIGHT!! BUY THESE THINGS!!! CHANGE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!!! Not that I’m bashing improving yourself. On the contrary. I’m all about improving, although that looks different for each of us. Setting goals and working towards them is a good thing. Bashing yourself and wanting to change things in an unrealistic manner while purchasing everything out there and feeling like medication is needed is not a good thing. I love success stories and what things worked for people, the process, what motivated them. I enjoy articles that are helpful. How about “using the park to work out” or “work out at work” or “bodyweight exercises you can do anywhere” or articles on the journey of being fit, not some ideal image of a final destination that may not even exist for the masses.
My kids have been raised in a healthy environment. I’ve always been active and I’ve dragged them to everything I could as well as encouraged them to be active in their own ways. Nearly all of them have run at least a 5K and have been involved in almost every sport I can think of. We’ve been asked to do fitness photoshoots by a fitness company I respect. My children were told by someone very close to them, that I am supporting and encouraging child pornography for having these pictures taken. Sports bras and shorts for kids who are active and each beautiful in their own way. In a society that is predominantly unhealthy and overweight where our kids are dressing provocatively and wearing bikinis, THIS — being fit and healthy — is considered porn?
I hope they grow up loving themselves, knowing they are unique and beautiful and feeling special that this was one of many fitness photoshoots they were asked to be a part of This year in our county schools there have been 15 suicides. That isn’t including the attempts. 15 children from 7–12th grade felt so low, so sad and helpless, that killing themselves seemed like the only option. We all see images that support looking a way that is unrealistic. We are bludgeoned by articles and photos that “fix things you don’t like” and “how to look a certain way” and how to fit in with money and style and image. Kids are experiencing bullying about everything possible. Yet, my kids were badmouthed for the above photos and being in good physical shape with good self-esteem. It seems like a double standard. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Raising children who are good people, respectful, happy, confident, healthy, and athletic is a tough job in this day and age. Being put down for being confident makes the job of raising kids with good self-esteem even more difficult. I’m glad my kids know they can talk to me about anything. That I think they are beautiful, amazing young men and women who make a difference. They are good friends, good siblings, good students. I hope they grow up feeling secure that they are loved and important because they are the thing in my life I am most proud of. Regardless of bullying, being put down, and being surrounded by unrealistic body images and peers committing suicide, I hope I have given them the self-esteem I want them to have.
Originally published at https://www.momof18.com.
Jenn is Mom of 18, Transformational Coach for Christian women, host of At A Crossroads with The Naked Podcaster, Author, Runner, Minimalist, & Healthy Lifestyle Advocate
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